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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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Our Wanker this Week is the anonymous spokesman for Friends of the Earth who this week spoke out against the Bishop of Chester.
 
As reported in the Liverpool Daily Post the Bishop, Dr.Peter Forster, is under fire for suggesting mankind is not to blame for global warming, which he said would happen "come what may". Christians are, as Grumpy readers will need no reminding, quite au fait with inevitable catastrophic events - forty days and nights of rain, plagues of locusts, fire, brimstone, death of first-born, bands of orcs and goblins (oh no, sorry, wrong fairy-tale), wives turned to pillars of salt, heavenly hosts flitting about and spoiling your television signal, etc.
 
While his near-neighbour the Bishop of Liverpool in his wisdom once warned that the chances of Earth surviving the century were no better than 50/50, Dr.Forster has a more realistic view. In a House of Lords debate on energy, he said discussion about the causes of global warming was "still open", that there was no consensus among climate scientists that "carbon dioxide levels are the key determinant", and that "Climate science is a notoriously imprecise area, because the phenomena under investigation are so large. That makes precision difficult to achieve."
 
But he was living dangerously - you're just not allowed to think that sort of thing any more, are you? It was totally predictable that someone from the loony green left would get involved sooner rather than later, and as it happened it was Friends of the Earth.
 
So what did the Friend of the Earth say? Did he trot out some statistical evidence to show that the Bishop was talking through his hat? Did he invite the press to visit sites that demonstrate the deleterious effects of global warming on our wild life? Did he quote the opinions of some eminent scientists who must surely know more than a mere priest? Did he point to recent climatic anomalies to prove that global warming is live and dangerous and that it's all our own fault?
 
Well, no, he didn't.
 
He just insisted that scientists were united in their certainty that global temperatures were rising because of carbon dioxide emissions, and said everyone had a responsibility to "wake up to the threat posed by climate change", adding "the debate is over. The alarm bells are ringing."
 
That was that. That was all he could manage - a straightforward quote from the notorious "Warm Words" document in which the Institute for Public Policy Research, a left-wing think-tank, advised global warming hysterics not to take the sceptics on in scientific argument based on the evidence (because they'd lose), but simply to keep banging on about "everyone's agreed" (they ain't), "the debate is over" (it's not - plenty of people are still talking), and "anyone who doesn't agree with us is a fool" (which is probably the opposite of the truth, given that rational curiosity and the application of logic to evidence is generally believed to be the mark of intelligence). Friends of the Earth obviously think we're all very stupid, if this is all they have to do to win the argument.
 
The facts, in case Friends of the Earth are interested at all, are that scientists are NOT united in their certainty that global temperatures are rising because of carbon dioxide emissions, because quite a lot of scientists have noticed that global temperatures aren't rising and haven't for the last ten years. We don't all have "a responsibility to wake up to the threat posed by climate change" because the climate is always changing - that's what it's for. It's been changing for millions of years and will probably continue doing so without permission from Friends of the Earth. The debate is not over - plenty of us are still debating away, even if Friends of the Earth prefer to sit with their hands over their ears going "La, la, la! I can't hear you! La, la, la!"
 
Mind you, the alarm bells are ringing, all right. They're the bells that warn us of a massive fraud being perpetrated by politicians like Al Gore with stakes in carbon trading, by scientists anxious to secure great wads of funding, and nasty little jobsworths who welcome any opportunity to boss people about.
 
Quite staggering, the contempt shown by Friends of the Earth for the intelligence of ordinary people - let alone members of the House of Lords.
 
Wankers.
 
That's Friends of the Earth, not the House of Lords. The House of Lords are a bunch of old gits, and being an old git himself The GOS has a certain respect for their accumulated wisdom. Sometimes they're the only thing that stands between us and the total lunacy of Neue Arbeit and their little verschwörerisch friends, Steinmauer, Asche, Bremse and Die Freunde der Erde.
 
Sieg Heil!
 

 

 
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